People be, as people are.

Of all the people I let go, I wish I had held on to a few.
1. That guy from my first year in undergrad, who decided that he wanted to address a love letter to all the girls in our class, on- nonetheless but Valentine's Day! He made me  the pall-bearer of this awesome news and hands me an amazing piece of literary achievement. Honestly, the letter began something like "Dear Girls, On the grand occasion of Valentine's Day, I want to...". Being the mean (read mentally stunted) girls in college that we sometimes were, none of us gave him a second look in the next 3 years there.  It would have been a lifetime full of surprises if I had kept in touch with him.
2. A tiny little girl from my hostel days- She was one of the most chilled out people I knew, and our second year at hostel (neither of us had a date, of course!) we decided to go watch the awesomeness that was PRABHAS in his latest flick Varsham- which we had both already seen 3 times. Nonetheless, we went in the scorching heat of Vijayawada summers (summer begins in January in these parts of the world, and no we aren't in the southern hemisphere). But, of course as the love gods detest me, we ended up watching Lakshminarsimha- an amazing movie about powlice raaj; under the awesomeness that  is BALAYYA. It was still fun as we both spent an entire 3 hours checking out the college hottie sitting 2 rows ahead (and yes, it was worth it).
3. A girl who made me morning coffee for 2 years (my roomie- for all you free thinkers out there). The time when everyone got extremely ahem- inebriated on $2 shots (the bill rang a whopping $240 that night- well OK, there were six of us), and I encouraged her to buy the extremely good looking blonde bartender drinks. We always decided we shall go back there one more time, which of course never happened after that night! Due to incomprehensible circumstances, I miss her today.
4. A girl I met in my first year of undergrad. She was undoubtedly one of the coolest people I'd met, with a sense of sarcasm that would have made me look like a newbie at the school of scorn! She and I schemed and plotted and desired to leave poison ivy in our seniors laundry buckets (in hostels, no one has a laundry basket, duh!). Sigh, college days. She ended up running away from hostel/home/college and marrying her aging tuition teacher as soon as she turned of age! Sigh, college days!
Alas, I can just reflect upon all these thoughts today but at least it still makes me smile.

Who is Kajal Aggarwal?

Lazy Sunday afternoon. The official Chicken-Day at my house. Mum, who's been sweating away in the kitchen all morning, yelled at/beckoned us for lunch finally. Dad, gave a slight grunt from his weekend reading material while I tried to search for my toothbrush with my eyes barely open yet (yea, well OK, it's Sunday- no need to patronize now). The phone rings, and my Mum eagerly searches for it in the midst of a pile of freshly washed (and sun-dried) clothes. After all these years, my mum still get's all happy and excited to answer her phone. Anyways, I watch as the usually happy look on her face undergoes a few alterations- dismay, confusion and anger; before she hangs up the phone.

Who is Kajal Aggarwal?

Aan? Ghoo? Please note that at this point I am a minute into my daily dental routine.

KAJAL AGGARWAL. Who's she?

OK at this point my curiosity is obviously stoked and I think it better to ditch oral hygiene and concentrate on my Mum's queries. Spit. Rinse.

She's a Telugu film actress. Ye amma? 

Everyday whether I'm traveling or in the middle of a meeting- I get these calls- 'Dheera, dheera, dheera-miru Kajal Aggarwal tho matladadam anukunte 9 press cheyendi-to speak to Kajal Aggarwal please press 9', who is this woman and why does her assistant start the conversation with a song? It's ridiculous. 


My mom is still used to the ICICI and Airtel tele-callers. I think she still needs to wrap her head around these movie promo stunts- which at point seem so- absolutely entertaining, until you are the one having to explain it to your mother.

It's OK ma, it's a movie promo thing, they probably want your ringtone set as that song or so. Let it be.


In the olden days people used to flock entire stadiums if ANR or NTR were attending a function. What has the industry standards come to? These actresses not only want to talk to us personally on the phone, so that we will watch their half hearted attempts at acting, they suggest us ringtones too?! What next is she going to text me sambhar recipes or something?? Art is bigger than the person, no amount of publicity would ever get a bad thing noticed. This is just annoying.


Been a long time since I saw my mother voice such a strong opinion. I smile inside letting her vent it all out.

And then all the openings and parties and socializing they do. Why do they even print that Hyderabad Times, what good comes out of that? Last week there was a General Store opening, and the traffic was held up for 50 minutes because Amala was cutting the ribbon there. Don't these people realize they are invading our private space. Very irresponsible.


Wow.

Umm yea ma, yea..very annoying...

And what are you doing till now? Why can't you wake up at normal timings like regular people do?!


See this is what I was afraid of. My mother like all other mothers, goes off on her loving off-springs; every time the maid doesn't show up or even if the petrol prices are hiked overnight or other similar reasons!

Yea ma, I'm done brushed and all- see my white sparkly teeth.


She just rolls her eyes and goes back into the kitchen. Her phone rings again.

Pause. Silence.

Who in god's name is Trisha?!!


Dad and I take it as a cue to bury ourselves in the newspaper.

So, telemarketers- I know it's a difficult job situation out there. I know jobs are hard to come by and you have to grab every opportunity that comes your way. But, please for the peace and sanity of the people of this world, stop calling our mom's and enquiring if she wants to talk to KAJAL AGGARWAL!

the prospective groom

'So, what do you want to do now?' My Mum begins one evening when I lay sprawled all over her bed, reading that day's edition of Hyderabad Times. 'Katrina Kaif and Kareena Kapoor to put their differences aside; if Kat and Ranbir decide to take their relationship to the next level'. Mind numbing articles- I recommend a daily read.

'We could watch the Filmfare awards again, they showing a repeat telecast'. I offered, willing to follow this literary bonanza with a visually equivalent treat.

'I mean what do you want to do in life now?'

'Huh? What? Huh? Who? Me?!'

'Do you want to go back, or do you want to settle here? Or do you want to get married and go back with the guy to the US?'

'Huh? Which guy??'

'Naana sambandhalu chustunaru ga, emayina nachithe chudu. [Dad's been looking for matches. See if you like any.]'

And as if on cue, my Dad steps in and starts rambling about some random guy.

'-And they want the wedding by March, but only issue is that the guy is 31.'

'Dad, please! No.'

Just as easily my Dad leaves, shaking his head at the hopeless talks with his beloved first child.

'We could have the wedding by May'. Ma ponders deeply looking at the latest Kalamandir ads in the newspaper, next to a news article of Jr. NTR getting married in summer. Is the universe conspiring against me?

'Mom! To whom?! You could probably get wedding shopping done by May! Not a wedding! I can't know a guy enough to get married to him by May!'

'How long does it take for that. You would have your entire lifetime afterwards to get to know each other. What is it that you want in the guy?'

At this point I just cannot believe how ridiculous this conversation is becoming. I want to roll my eyes, but you have to know this. I-am-shit-scared-off-acting-out in front of my Mum. So, I just mumble a completely senseless reply.

'I dunno. He should be taller than me. I don't wanna have short kids'.

My mind is screaming at me to shut up.

'And he should definitely read'. 

-Of course that sums up my expectations from a guy, a Neanderthal who can  string together a sentence!

'Read what? What will you both discuss in life? Books? Literary reviews? Stop being such an elitist'.

I look dumbfounded. OK. So apparently these are a little too pricey expectations.

'I am telling you right now. You would never find a guy like that in our community. What about looks?'

Images of a cricketer, an English Hons student and Prabhas pop into my mind. 

'I don't care about looks, amma. You know that'.

'Couldn't you be a bit more specific in what you have in mind?' -My Mum groans, all exasperated at the workings of her first child's mind. 

I am drawing a blank here, and now the Flicker stream in my mind has taken a turn to Talaivaland!

'Pink Floyd. He should be into Floyd'. 

Absolutely no clue why I set this criterion. Or any criterion at all, for that matter. My mind flashes back to all those movie scenes where the hero-heroine meet before an arranged marriage and ask each other pseudo intellectual questions, before they grope fall for each other.

'Floyd aa? That's it? It doesn't matter if he's short or dark or weird looking, as long as he is into Floyd?'

'And he should have clean, short nails'. 

It's Mum's turn to roll her eyes now, and oh boy, does she ever! I have no idea why I started mumbling such random nonsense when she was trying to talk to me about something so "serious" in my life. Well at least she dropped it after that, and we started discussing Floyd and Duran Duran and the new Audi A8. Sigh.

Something on these lines, perhaps..